I Wish…


I wish that we remembered that our lives are ours.

We can make any choice at any time.

You could hug a stranger,

confess your love to your best friend,

eat an extra candy bar,

dance in the street,


learn to juggle,

ask for a stranger to tell you their story

call an old friend you haven’t talked to in a while,


bake yourself three dozen cookies and eat them all,

read your favorite book for the hundredth time,

drive until you run out of gas,

watch a sunset,


go sightseeing,


try scuba diving,


plant a garden.

Your life is yours.

You decide how it goes and when it ends.

We do not have to be stuck at a desk until we’re an adult and then in a job that makes us miserable until we die.

As for me, I would rather be a homeless woman with stories to tell and a smile on my face and a world I can truly appreciate than be a person who walks home from the office miserably, the same way as every day, just to sit in an empty home, full of depressed memories and broken dreams.








Do what makes you happy.

You choose your life.

You choose.



A Watery Grave – Sort Of.

“Am I dead.” It was more of a statement than a question, since I didn’t expect an answer. But one came anyways, surrounding me.

“Only a little.”

I turned, tying to see through the darkness, trying to find the source of the voice.

“Who’s are you? What do you mean, only a little dead?” Two small lights had appeared, glowing bluish green.

“I am Amy. I will be your guide.”

I gasped as the light spread, and I realized it was coming from the creature speaking to me. I could see tentacles, fins and a long tail, but they all seemed connected to one human like figure.

A mermaid?


Original Art by Me, Outlawed Princess.

“Woaahh…” I reached out a hand automatically, intrigued. The mermaid – Amy? – grasped my wrist, pulling me with her.

“Okay, what is happening right now? I thought I drowned I-” Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t breath. I reached up, clawing at my throat, wanting air, but there were strange lumps already there, allowing oxygen into my system. Gills?

“You did drown, but we caught you.” Amy turned around a coral reef, the light emanating from her illuminating fish and crustaceans around it. My eyes seemed foggy, and it was hard to see still

“Who is we?”

A shark, small but still scary, swam past us peacefully. Amy reached out webbed fingers and stroked it.

“We are the merfolk, as you may have guessed. We collect the drowned and lost at sea and turn them, creating a new race, a more powerful underwater being. You are our newest recruit.” She grinned at me, but her fangs didn’t do much to comfort me.

“What if I don’t want to be recruited?”

“You don’t really have much of a choice, we claimed you.”

Before I could say anything more, Amy dove even deeper, bubbles swarming around us, mixing with fish and plants.

Seaweed caught at my leg and I panicked for a moment, thinking I was going to drown before realizing I already had. Amy swiped at it with a sharp shell that had been lying nearby and we continued on our way.

Ahead of us rose a great gate, adorned with pearls but slightly green from algae. Amy leaned up towards its great lock, whispered ‘Sea Nettle’ and pushed her way in.

All of a sudden we were in an underground city, merfolk all around, but they didn’t all look the same. Each had different colors, lengths of fins, shapes of faces, size of body. They were each their own person, and their clothes reflected it.

Although amy wore a simple wrap, many wore full shirts or robes. I even saw one red, plump mermaid pass wearing a full ball gown, tangling around her octopus legs.

Amy waved at some, and some called back. Everyone was smiling and cheerful, each person had a destination.

One merman approached us, talking to Amy about how ‘swamped’ they were at the office. The two laughed and talked for a minute before Amy excused us and we dodged a cart full of odd looking fruit, heading towards what seemed to be the heart of the city.

Vehicles were being used now, chariots pulled by dolphins mostly, although a few seemed to have engines of their own.

We swam quickly towards a huge pearly palace in front of us.

Amy paused to turn, emphasizing the grandeur with her webbed fingers, “This is Pearl Palace.”

“No kidding.” I grinned, the odd little water bubbles tickling my teeth and tongue.

On we went and soon we floated up a large marble staircase. I noticed that, although the entire city was beautiful, it was also crumbling and (of course) waterworn.

“The Instructors will tell you more.” Amy left me in front of an iron door that really did not look all that inviting.

Before I could do much more than consider jumping out the window down the hall and making a swim for it, the door opened and two scarily buff mermen wiggled out, massive spears in hand. Behind them a woman came, trident in hand, looking more like an octopus than the stereotypical mermaid.

“You may call me Madam, Your Loveliness, or you may stay silent. Follow.” Back into the room she went and her bodyguards pushed me forwards after her.

“Um, Ma’am? Where and what and how and all those other questions…” She glared over her shoulder and I fell silent.

The room we had entered was not inviting either, although it was definitely cleaner than anywhere else I had been. Mirrors lined the walls, and two chairs sat carefully in opposite corners. I was told to sit, so I did, and then one of the guards held me still while the other stuck a needle in my arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” ‘Madam’ just stared, her yellow eyes creepily watching every inch of my struggling self.

“This is an anesthesia. That way you won’t feel the excruciating pain that awaits you. Or, you won’t feel as much of it. Enjoy.” She got up and left, and I was alone, and darkness crept in and I slept.

All I can remember for the next year are various medical personnel, drugs, aching, pain, burning sensations, and, as promised, just over all excruciating pain.

When I finally gained full consciousness I was in a small hut made of woven seaweed, laying on a cozy bed with sea urchins of many colors coating the floors and starfish above me on a clam ceiling.

I tried swinging my legs over the edge of the bed to sit up, but I didn’t have legs to swing. Instead I had fins, big and purple and gold. I was dressed only in a hospital gown, trapped uncomfortably around my wide hips.

I pulled the wet dress off over my head and realized how scaly my skin was. There were pinkish spots all over me, darker in some places, so that when I moved it looked like a bright pink light was changing back and forth on my arms and stomach and tail.

How had I gotten here? I could remember procedures and I remember Amy and drowning, but I couldn’t remember why I’d drowned in the first place.

This was all rather strange.







Red Queen – 4/28/2017

You treat me like
I never want to see
You kick and fight and scream
So don’t expect me
To bow down and call you Queen

You are so cruel to me
And everyone you see
Just don’t expect us to
Bow down to
Your Majesty.

But suddenly you’re kind
You blow a kiss and say
“I love you, sweetie”
Well that is new to me
I thought you were like the
Red Queen

You switch back and forth
A bipolar Ruler
You say that you will change
But I can see

You’re like the Red Queen
The way you treat me
You tell us to see
From your point of view
Well, I’ve tried to see
What gives you the right to be
So awful to us all
Your Majesty

Have a nice life but
Don’t expect me to
Hang around and bow to you
You’re like the Red Queen
Like the Red Queen

Drowning – 4/28/2017

Im trying to breathe
But I’m still drowning
I’m drowning
You said that you loved me
But then you sailed away
And I’m still drowning
I’m drowning

How can you be this way?
How can you say these things
That you would love me
Forever and ever
You left me alone
In the open waves
You told me to hang on
And then you sailed away

The sea seemed sweet at first
Blue green wide open turf
The seaweed tangled me
And now I’m drowning
I begged for you to help
You smiled and said you would
Always be there for me
So why am I still drowning?

The movies seemed to warn
That this could happen
Others told us to take it slow
But you had this smile and laugh
You said that you would catch
Me if I ever fell
But we had no plan
For one of us drowning

So I’ll fight for myself
Swim harder against this current
Trying to drag me down
I miss you and it hurts
But I must breathe
I cannot drown

What We’ve Been Left – 4/29/2017

Mechanical movements, broken spirits.
We’re taught to follow the rules,
But we’re never taught to think.

When we were younger they warned us
About manipulators,
But they never told us
That we’d have no voice to scream.

We thought the future would be great!
We woke up every day excited to be alive.
It wasn’t until they told us off for asking questions,
That we wondered why
We even tried.

A world in which we can only follow others,
Never allowed to write the lyrics to our own song,
This is what we live in, trapped every single day.
This is what we’ve been given, this is now our fate.

If you find a solution, an answer to our pain,
Please tell me so that someday,
We can truly live again.

The Promise That You’ve Broken – 4/28/2017

You made a promise to a family
That you could never keep
You told your daughter you loved her
That she was the whole world to you
You swore you’d never leave her
So why did you

You said you loved her mother
And all her sisters too
You said you cared about them
But you only cared for you
I’m sorry we were never enough
To be your happily ever after

I hope someday that we both find love
And are friends still after

There was a wife and children
Sitting home alone
You distracted yourself from what
You pretended to love most
And now we’ve all given up
And gone our separate ways

I hope someday we both find love
And finally understand each other

So when you’re with your new family
The ones you now love
Please remember your little daughter
The one crying in the dust
You said you’d never leave her
You swore to keep her safe
Well that’s just a broken promise now
Now that you’ve gone away

And I hope someday we both find love
Because, Daddy, I’ll always be
Your little girl
With your broken promise