A Fly’s Death


I’m Franny. You might remember the other message I left, right after I died…no? Well, it’s called A Fly’s Life, and you’re going to want to read it before you continue with this.

Have you read it yet?

Well, I’m going to pretend that you have.

Anyways, I’m Francis Pope John Paul Ringo George the Third. As stated before, you may call me Franny.

Now, in my last message I told you all about Dave.

Oh Dave, kind, sweet, nonjudgmental Dave… he really is such an inspiration to me. I’ve been keeping an eye on him from beyond the grave, and guess what! He really did find happiness. He adopted a cute little Pit Bull, sweetest thing.

I mean, he did tear down the drapes, and spill his water, and chew Dave’s shoes, but he’s just a puppy who needs training.

And he makes Dave happy, which is the most important thing in the world.

As for me, I’m having a great time. There are so many of my relations down here in the afterlife.

Like, really, there are trillions of my cousins and ancestors that I didn’t even know about. Or wanted to know.

Some of the other insects down here aren’t flies though.

Like Eleanor…


Eleanor was the prettiest Lady Bug I’d ever known. She was also the only lady bug I’d ever known, but I’m still sure she was the prettiest of them all.

We first met a couple days after I’d gotten into the Other Place. She had just died, actually in a similar way  I had. Eleanor had been stomped on, while a rude spider watched on, without so much as lifting one of his unnecessarily long eight legs to help.

Spiders. What good do they do anyways that they have a right to walk on this planet? We should make a rocket and send them all to Mars. Or that one planet where it rains glass sideways. Maybe they’ll all get impaled and we won’t have to worry about them anymore.

But I digress. Eleanor had died, and I happened to see her being led past me by a welcoming committee.

Intrigued,  I followed them. Did you know that a group of lady bugs is called a Loveliness?

After getting to know Eleanor I understand why.

They ended up near the rose patch, and that’s where I made my move.

“Excuse me, but I believe there’s a new arrival waiting for you, I can take it from here ladies.” I bowed courteously to the Welcoming Workers.

“We aren’t ladies.” One of them muttered as he flew back towards the gates. “Why does everyone assume I’m a girl?”

Eleanor cleared her throat. I grinned, and she smiled back, and I knew immediately that she was just as in love as I was and we were going to get married and live happily ever after in the Other World and never be alone again!

“I’m trying to find someone, can you help me?” She asked shyly. “His name is Henry the 333rd.”

“Oh, that’s so cool that you have a brother!” I nodded enthusiastically. She laughed as if I had made a joke…I still am not sure what that was about.

And so off we went to find her brother, calling his name as we flew in between thorns and rose hips. She called him ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Babe’ and ‘Honey’ too, but I restrained myself, as I hadn’t even met the guy yet.

Finally she saw him. She squealed and dove towards where he was basking on a leaf.


“Henryyyy!!!” She yelled.

“Eleanorrrr!!!” He replied, as they flew into each other.

“Frannyyyy!!!” I screamed as I hugged myself.

It was a bonding moment.

You might wonder why I choose to tell this of all stories. Well, I haven’t seen or talked to her since then (this all happened about three hours ago by my estimate), but I am sure we are meant to be.

There is no doubt in my mind that when I propose to her tomorrow she will say yes and everything will work out perfectly.

I just want to make sure that her brother, who is likely going to be very protective, understands what’s going on.

Hey, maybe Henry could be my best man! After all, I have no other friends to speak of, and who better for the job than the Bride’s family?

You know what, I think I should just go talk to Henry now. Maybe he can direct me towards a good jeweler to buy a ring.

I’ll make sure to send you an invitation to the wedding.

Eleanor, here comes your Prince Charming!




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